COLM NEWSLETTER - June 2024

“Esau said to his father, ‘Have you only one blessing, father? Bless me, even me also, O my father!’ And Esau lifted up his voice and wept.” (Genesis 27:38)

In this passage of scripture, Esau, the eldest son of Isaac, has a deep emotional outburst upon realizing that his younger brother Jacob received the blessing that was rightfully his. Esau did not understand the importance of his father’s blessing until he realized that Jacob had deceived his father to obtain it. When he comprehended that Jacob had been given the blessing, he wept bitterly and asked his father if he had another blessing for him. Children need their fathers’ blessings.

Whether society admits it or not, children need love, support, and the presence of an engaged father in their lives. I have heard single mothers say, “I am my child’s mother and father.” I tip my hat to every single mother raising a child without the benefit of the father’s assistance, but let’s be crystal clear: mothers, as well-meaning as they may be, cannot instill the necessary qualities, virtues, or values that can only be given by a father.

As I look back over my own life, I am thankful and grateful to God that my father was involved in my life and that I could learn from him and pass those lessons on to my children.

Identity: I believe children get their core identity from their father. Because my father was present in the home as I grew up, I learned my identity and who I was as a person from him. Fathers, through their consistent presence, give their children a sense of self and how they fit into the world around them. Children without their father in their lives often struggle with self-awareness and the socialization process. As a chaplain for the Cook County penal system, I spoke with many young men who had been arrested and placed in the prison system. Many expressed their belief that they would have avoided a life of crime if they had a father in their life to show them who they are and how valuable they are in the world. Each one of those young men, without exception, was crying out and longing for their father to bless them and be present in their lives. I made a lot of mistakes as a father, but I am grateful that my children seem to have good self-esteem, self-awareness, and are contributing members of society.

Industriousness:Another thing I learned from my father is a good work ethic. As children grow older and move toward adulthood, they need to be industrious and learn how to work to sustain themselves. However, there must be a balance between a father working to support his family and being fully engaged on an emotional level. Financial support of children is crucial and is one of the major roles of a father. But a father must also be an emotional supporter of his children. There were times in my life as a father when I worked two jobs and fell short of being there for emotional support. There is no excuse for fathers to neglect their children in the emotional arena. There must be a balance, and fathers must be present and engaged for emotional support.

Generosity and Compassion for Others: One of the main lessons I learned from my father is to be generous and willing to give to others. I grew up seeing my father give to people in need, and he was always very supportive of widows and orphans. Whenever we went out to a restaurant, he would pay for other people's meals, give money to those who didn’t have enough to pay for their meals, and put money in the hands of strangers. My children are givers, and they give to homeless people and those in need. Children need to see a good example from their father in the area of generosity!

Spiritual Formation: This is probably the most important thing I learned from my father. He taught me to love God! Fathers must support their children in every area of life, and they must teach their children about the things of God. My father has been a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ for over 60 years and taught me and my siblings the value of loving God. I was a “prodigal son” who strayed away, but thank God I found my way back home! As fathers, we must always have love and grace for our children, even when they are not doing the things we would like them to do. We must always remember the times when we got off course and off the path of God. Fathers must always pray for their children and extend love and understanding of their challenges. We must teach them to love God and to love people.

Fatherhood is the most important job that any man will ever do. As a matter of fact, it’s not just a job but a calling! There are many things I would redo as a father, but I cannot go back in time to correct mistakes I have made. However, by the grace of God, I can move into the future with a mindset to be present in the lives of my children where I may have missed in the past. So, I say to every father, Happy Father’s Day! Love your children and give them all of you… every day!

Father, we lift up every father in the world. Strengthen and empower them to support and care for their children. Turn their hearts to their families, making them the best fathers they can be. Lift every father to be a loving gatekeeper over their children, providing emotional, spiritual, and financial support. Increase their awareness of the importance of their presence and understanding. Give every father a revelation of Your love, allowing them to see their children through Your eyes. Help them extend grace, mercy, and love, making their children feel special and wanted. Grant wisdom and direction to every father as they raise a new generation filled with love and possibilities. We pray this in Jesus' name, Amen.(It is so...)

I would like to thank you for all of the things you have taught me directly and indirectly. Although you were not a man of many words when it came to life experiences, you were a man of many words when it came to religion, political viewpoints, and history, particularly slavery and segregation. Despite the limited life experiences shared, your actions spoke volumes about how you must put your head down and provide. Your quiet dedication and unwavering commitment have left an indelible mark on me, teaching me the value of hard work and perseverance. Your silent strength has been a guiding light, even when words were scarce.

Now that I have become a father, it definitely makes me see things differently and see how you may have suffered in silence with many things others may never understand. I clearly understand the responsibility placed on a father in this world, even when you may feel invisible to the very family you are sacrificing every ounce of your being for, yet you continue to charge ahead. Fatherhood has given me a new perspective on your struggles and sacrifices, and I am in awe of the resilience you displayed. The weight of your unspoken burdens is now clearer to me, and I am filled with respect and gratitude for the quiet battles you fought.

Thank you for being who you are and who you’re not. Even though I probably don’t say it much (apple doesn’t fall far from the tree), I love you and I appreciate all of the sacrifices you’ve made from the beginning to the present. No one is perfect and no one is without skeletons; therefore, in my heart, you are not defined nor judged by any flawed choices you’ve made. If that is anything that you are holding on to, know that I love you and appreciate you no matter what, and all choices are a part of the life experience. Your imperfections only make you more human, and my admiration for you only grows. Happy Father’s Day to a great man and father!

“Binding and Loosing”

“Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Matthew 18:18

This passage has been quoted in many church services and has often been used to suggest that we should cast out devils or “bind and loose” Satan and his demonic minions. However, the Greek phrase used here literally means, “Whatever you declare illegal on earth has already been declared illegal in heaven, and whatever you declare legal on earth has already been declared legal in heaven.” This verse reveals to us that, as believers, we have the authority to “disallow” things on earth that have already been disallowed in heaven and to allow things on earth that have already been allowed in heaven.

For instance, sickness has been declared illegal in heaven, and therefore, we can declare sickness illegal in our bodies on earth. We do not deny that sickness may present itself, but we can proclaim that sickness is illegal in the body of a believer. God is the ultimate power, and anything that presents itself in the life of a believer is illegal if it has been declared illegal in heaven, and it is legal if it has already been declared legal in heaven. As believers, we must use our authority to “bind and loose” in a scriptural way!

Practical Examples

Declaring Peace In Turbulent Times

In today’s chaotic world, many of us face anxiety and fear. However, as believers, we can declare peace over our lives. By consistently praying and affirming that peace, which is already declared in heaven, we can experience a sense of calm and assurance despite external circumstances.

Financial Breakthrough

Financial struggles are a common issue, but we can apply the principle of binding and loosing here as well. By declaring provision and abundance, as it is in heaven, we align our faith with God's promises. This doesn’t negate the need for wise financial practices, but it does invite God's favor and blessing into our financial situation.